Tracy- Shin's profileヨーグルト市ヨーグルト町PhotosBlogListsMore  |  Tools Help |
|
June 18 To Ake你怎么都不给我打电话~!!!!! 我不爱你了...
完了,行了我知道了,咱俩的咖啡厅就甭开了,你竟敢不给我打电话,还有空来这儿拽文学, 哼.
你看看你, 一大罗筐的网友!! 我吃醋!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
哎,其实给你留言听郁闷的. 感觉我沦落到了百花中的渺小的一朵,没有什么实质上的意义.
最近减少了对尼古丁的依赖, 因为他说他实在受不了我的烟草味. 也算是我在自我调节心情和环境.
然后随后就下楼象疯子似地狂跑.
跑到学校操场看见有足球赛. 天, 还带DJ的． 专业无比． 在观众席上鬼混了一会儿．
出了一身汗， 象是甩掉了这几个周一直缠身的新菌． 终于能够吸到和别人一样的空气了． 我是说，正常地球人吸地那种． 不时我们火星上的．
最近很少看书了，感觉自己跟死人似的，整个一废物．
去图书馆借书，找到我最爱的作者Kurt Vonnegut 和Stringer的对话实录．
觉得他吗的我之前的生活一塌糊涂，具恶无比。
结果还是书挽救了我。
还有你也算是吧． 哈哈，开玩笑的。
所以啦， 给我打电话！贱人！ April 05 full of crapi have been thinking...no so much, and not so thoroughly, but i have been thinking.
about...life.
more precisely, my life.
who told you im just goofy? i take things seriously too.
wierd enough, i woke up at 5 am this morning.
people who know me know that i usually toss and turn in my bed till its late enough to miss the first class. but this morning i woke up myself.
at 5 am.
i partly blame the firework outside. unbelievably loud explosion continued for about 30 minutes, and i was wide awake in my bed, staring outside of the window, thinking of ... my life.
since last X'mas, i have been acting not myself. is this a part of growing? do people wane after their blooming ? do i have to always absorb new concepts that i meet and change my self? i mean, people do that, but what if what we have become is nothing we appreciate ? waht if old days were way way way colorful? what if wut uve become doesnt appeal as much to you compared to wut u used to be? do we still want the change?
lately ive been having this rediculously calm attitude towards my boredom. maybe its coming from the relief of my SAT score being reported to Sophia. finally.
but maybe its because my life routine has become a cliche, just...nothing more to be impressed about. i laugh and smile and get along with people, make jokes and all , but wuts the point? yeah, socialize, sure. but im no longer pleasing myself. im no longer satisfying myself. im no longer making myself happy. nothing s wrong, yet nothing seem to be right.
thats the really scary part . thats the thing i fear the most. just a horizontal plain. no valley, no horn, no nothing. not even a cactus. its white, and its plain. there is a girl in pink pants and moss green top with short, smooth hair playing with a ball on the left side of that plain picture. she bounces and bounces and bouces the ball, endlessly, continuously, without looking away. sometimes the ball gets out of her hand,disappearing from the picture frame, and she hurries to get the ball , worrying she might lose it. and then this warm, lovely smile will come up on her face when she catches it. she then will return to where she used to stand, and keep bouncing and bouncing...
sometimes i call out to her, she holds her ball with two tiny hands and turns her head back. when she sees its me, her face would wrinkle so bad from grinning so hard.
no matter how many times the ball bounces off, she goes on and catches it, and keeps bouncing.
the ball is my heart. everytime my heart runs away from reality, she runs off and gets it back. bringing me back to the plain, white picture.
she handles the ball well, but when the sky is too blue or the road too grey, or its too bright to open her eyes to look up the sun, she lets go of the ball.
or maybe the ball loses its control. wanting to bounce higher and higher to reach the sun,
---- like Icaros. only in the end, his wax wings melts as he gets closer to the sun and he falls down from the sky and die.
the girl in her pink pants has been with her ball for this many years, theyve known each other from top to tail, inside out.
she calls the ball honey.
the ball bounces back with love.
my dearest person in the world, ake, this piece is for u.
January 24 か・・・かっこよすぎ・・・(ハナヂぶう～～～）ちょっとマジこのサイトいってみ？！
あこがれるううううう
 今度の５月に大阪来るんだよね・・・チケット２９日から発売されるんだけどゼッタイなんとかしてとりたい！！！！！ クウウウウウウ～  あたしもダンス習いたかったぜ・・・
よっしゃ！子供にボールルームダンス習わせてburn the floor にでさせる！
それはそうと、あけさあ、いっしょにいかん？？？？
  January 09 感想期末テストがようやく終わった。
ふへー、疲れた。
最近なんかあたし変。
頭ん中でいろんな声が聞こえる。いろんなもんが気持ち悪いくらいにぐるぐる頭の中回転してる。」
キリスト教、聖書、レオナルドダヴィンチ、飛行機のチケット、宇宙、マルボロ、チャーハン、奈菜、フレンズ、電話、彼氏、お父さんの腰、上智大、テーブルの灰、モデム。
今日でブログやめる。
January 04 my favourite song !!! brilliant , brilliannntt!!!Maple Leaf Prison Blues
I hear that Qing-Gui coming, it's rolling into town
 But our "leader", Emperor Sherman, has lost his tarnished crown
.Well, I'm stuck in Maple Leaf prison, and now I sure feel blue...
And that Qing-Gui keeps rolling, on back to JinMaLu.
No computers in the dorms now, and cell phones confiscated,
"Young Love" is forbidden, but our weekends are X-rated.
Well, I'm stuck in Maple Leaf prison; for this I have to pay???
And that Qing-Gui train keeps rolling, on down to KaiFaQu.
Sherman's drinking whiskey, from his fancy office bar.
And Savage's having a coffee, and smoking a big cigar.
But I'm stuck in Maple Leaf prison; I think that I should sue.
And that Qing-Gui train keeps rolling, on down to BaoShuiQu.
On saturdays, listen to lectures, when we could be drinking beers,
Wearing these ugly uniforms, could drive us all to tears.
Well, I'm stuck in Maple Leaf prison, and time's not on my side.
And that Qing-Gui train keeps rolling, on down to DDport.
Well, I guess that soon I'll grad, and sail acrooss that big blue sea.
I wonder what it will feel like, to finally be free...
Well I'm stuck in Maple Leaf prison, but Canada's calling me.
And that Qing-Gui train keeps rolling, on down to JinShiTan. January 02 My New Year Resolutionhappy new year !!
January 01 listening to ake s space musicit eases me to listen to ake s space music
she has some kinda magical power to calm me down and makes me be able to think again.
i think im blessed. i am truely blessed, i guess.
dont need no friends running around me , dont need no friends having lunch with me , to go to washroom with me or even going out shopping.
dont need no movies to entertain me, no need for praises from teachers , no need for candies on halloween, no carols needed for christmas.
i have everything i need,
a lover whose heart is deeper than the ocean, whose love so strong and heated u can get burnt by trying to touch it, who holds me so tight like he s afraid of losing me , who tells me watching me sleep was the most beautiful thing he s ever seen...
a friend who speaks truth to me, and has no fear of telling me that im fucked up, who can be happy for me when she s sick, or doing bad, who will remember me or support me no matter wut happens...
a mom who is so emotional and sensitive that she cries everytime she talks about how i was studying so hard to fit in a new community when we moved to another country, who is so kind that gets moved by watching braveheart...
a dad who loves me so much he loses words when he wants to say something to me, who is so bad at expressing his lov and care that he can only show it by working so hard at the factory everyday trying to earn more money so i can spend it...
an aunt who has been taking care of me since i was 12 and who cares about me so much she would cook everyting i like when i get home every weekend, who covers me with a blanket everytime i fall asleep on the couch...
i have everything i need in my life... people i love, people i care about. and i just cant wait to wake up tomorrow morning and live my another day with these people s blessing...
with my awkward words i sincerely thank Vance, Ake,Linda, Echo,River, Mom, Dad, and my Aunt .
I love you all, happy new year.
|
||||
|
|
